even my farts smell like vagina
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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