Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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