I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
