Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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