The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think your dad took our porno
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
