Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i think i have herpe
just one?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
