I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
