Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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