I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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