I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize