Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
