Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
