Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize