when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
