You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
