Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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