I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
