if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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