Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
this boner is exhausting
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
