I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
