i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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