my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
