so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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