Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
