ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
