How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and she was petting her beer can
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
