btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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