I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ugly people sure do ruin things
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
pray to the hookup gods
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
