party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
