Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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