I murdered the dance floor call the cops
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize