We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
