my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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