Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
