Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
