when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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