Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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