2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
