I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
