Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
