Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
