so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
