kristin has been a bad kristin
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
