captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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