My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
