i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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