best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
