3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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