At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
