I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
