dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
