His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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