I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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