Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
