Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
