absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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