You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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