So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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