So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
