the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
