Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
