well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
