she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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