Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
